Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Mooning, Malaysia’s ultimate defence — Jaleel Hameed

May 15, 2012
MAY 15 — All hail our army veterans. They only need their bottoms to defend the country from its enemies.
Today, I read in The Malaysian Insider that 10 retired soldiers “exercised” their bums this morning outside Datuk Ambiga Sreenevasan’s Bukit Damansara home against the April 28 Bersih rally.
The members of the Malay Armed Forces Veterans Association (PVTM) did their “butt exercises” to protest against the Bersih chief for being an “enemy” of the nation, reports the news portal.
“We Armed Forces veterans have the right to protest against an ‘enemy’ who tried to smear the nation’s name,” said PVTM president Datuk Mohd Ali Baharom.
Of course, sir. Much obliged that despite your retirement, you are brave enough to take up arms to drop your pants in the face of the enemy.
As they say, if you can’t use your head, use your bottom. Well played, sir.
But this begs the question of the weapon of choice for the Malaysian Armed Forces.
If they can use their derrieres, why do we go out and buy French submarines, Polish tanks, American and Russian fighter jets and other pricey weaponry.
All we need for the country’s defence is the well-trained, muscled bottom of the pride and joy of the nation — the Malaysian soldier — to flex our bottoms at the enemies of the state.
No enemy can defeat us for they will quake in fear when mooned by the Malaysian soldier.
This Malaysian defence weapon could just be the update of US President John F. Kennedy’s famous line: “Ask not what your country can do for you, ass what you can do for your country.”

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